BEST OF JODY'S BOX: "ON A GOOD DAY A SUN DIAL IS ADEQUATE, BUT TODAY I BROUGHT A POCKET CALENDAR."

There is a quantum difference between men and woman–and the gap grows geometrically when the man is a motorcycle racer. Take lovely Louella. She loves to go to the races. She hob nobs with her friends, visits the snack bar and catches some rays in a lawn chair. And, if she’s not too busy, she might watch a race or two.  I like it when she is in the pits. It gives me someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of and keep me centered. Here are some typical conversations.

“Jody!”said lovely Louella. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. Give me the keys to the truck. I have to move it.”

“Why? Is it blocking someone?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “I’m going to move it from the pits to the driveway at home. You can get a ride home with Jimmy Mac.”

“Boy, I hope I get a good start,” I said to luscious Louella before the start of the second moto.

“Why?” she asked while casually turning the page of her National Geographic.

“So I can win!” I said.

“What will that prove?” she asked.

“That I’m the fastest rider,” I said.

“In the world?” she asked.

“No, not exactly, but the fastest rider here,” I said.

“Here in California?” she asked.

“No, I mean here at Glen Helen,” I said.

“So, if you win today you’ll be the fastest rider at Glen Helen?” she said.

“In my class,” I said.

“Are there other classes?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“How many?” she asked.

“Thirteen,” I said.

“Is everybody who wins his class the fastest rider at Glen Helen,” she said.

“No,” I said. “You are putting too much emphasis on winning. I’m here to have fun.”

“Then I guess it doesn’t matter what kind of start you get, does it?” she said.

“Louella, Jimmy wants me to do lap times. Could I borrow your stopwatch?” said Jimmy Mac’s girlfriend Sheila.

“I don’t use a stopwatch to do Jody’s lap times,” said Louella.

“What do you use?” asked Sheila.

“On a good day a sun dial is adequate, but today I brought a pocket calendar.”

“Jody,” said lovely Louella. “What happened in the last moto? You were missing for two laps.”

“I got caught up in a ten-bike pileup in the first turn,” I said.

“How are you going to do in the next moto?” she asked.

“I hope to do as least as well as in the first one,” I said.

“Jody,” said Crazy Dave after the first moto. “I know a corner where you can save a second a lap.”

“That would be cool. Do you know what it would mean if I could knock a second off my lap times in the corners?” I asked.

“Yeah,“ said Louella without looking up from her National Geographic. “You’d only be losing time on the straights.”

“How did you do in the first moto,” said Louella while thumbing through the latest issue of National Geographic.

“Didn’t you watch my moto?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “It was dusty over by the fence.”