These are the most boring cars of all time
10/23/2024 02:37 PM
It's easy to name interesting and exciting cars, but what about those at the other end of the excitement spectrum? These are our picks as the most boring cars of all time.
Original story by Tony Davis first published in Drive on 24 October, 2009
What is the most boring car of all?
Dullness is entirely in the eye of the beholder. After all, one man’s Toyota Corona Hardtop is another man’s Porsche 550 Spyder.
And if I ever meet that other man, I’ll be making my excuses and vacating the scene very quickly.
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The cavalcade of motoring machines through the years has included plenty of dreary machines about which one can only say a few words without (a) drifting from the subject at hand or (b) being every bit as boring as the car itself.
However, the question remains. Which are the cars that are neither good nor bad enough to stand out in any way whatsoever? At the risk of making this column a list, here’s a list.
Nissan Tiida
Just like a Pulsar, only less interesting. Yes, as hard as that sounds to actually achieve. The model is, as Nissan’s product namers might say, tediious.
Hyundai Excel
Goodness, they were ghastly, though only in a bland sort of way. The company was very clever to change the name to iSnack 2.0. Or was that some other mob?
Subaru Leone
Remember the agricultural and ungainly cars that carried this badge? Many of them were two-wheel-drive. That meant they did without the one feature of 1970s and '80s Subarus that was different, if not exciting, yet retained all the things that were neither.
Dodge Caliber
Who thought Australia needed it? Indeed, who thought anyone needed it? And why is the calibre of their spelling so poor, mom? See how language is corrupted when you allow parallel imports!
Holden Sunbird
Not just gruesomely unappealing but loathsomely unreliable. And dated and dull and slow and… you get the picture. It’s not an interesting one.
Citroen Xsara
How did a company as quirky and sometimes outright barmy as this produce a car so totally lacking a single feature of note and clothed in a body that would disappear into the background – if you could pick it from the background in the first place? The name is possibly Aztec for “expensive and undistinguished”.
Proton Persona
Enough said. Because if you were to find anything to add, you’d probably be repeating yourself.
Ford Mondeo
Remember the early ones? No, neither would an elephant. They were so inoffensive that, well, it was offensive.
Daewoo
To nominate any specific model would be to care. And nobody does.
Daihatsu Applause
Someone once proposed a high-roofed version called the Standing Ovation. That might have stood out: the model that they actually did build resides in Roget’s Thesaurus under the word “lacklustre”. That said, lustre was only one of many things it lacked.
Mazda 626
The last-generation one in the late 1990s when Japan’s most adventurous company, styling-wise, suddenly turned ultra-conservative. You wouldn’t pick it in a police line-up even if it was the only thing there.
Toyota Camry
Nobody has a bad word to say about this ultra-reliable, competent, well-made… sorry, did I just slip into unconsciousness?
Holden Barina
There have been one or two terrific little cars to wear the Barina badge. The current model might have read about them.
Datsun 120Y
Okay, we’re shooting fish in a barrel. There was even a coupe version that carried over all the snoredom of the sedan but had a higher price tag and two fewer doors.
Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4
Just joking, though to those tens of thousands of Australians who bought the above-mentioned Datsun, maybe it is. Look at the size of the boot, for a start. No coat hooks, no vinyl roof option… Tony Davis
Has the passage of time made these boring cars cool?
Well, yes and no.
There's certainly a delight in seeing one of these old-timers on the road, and even more so if it's in original condition and well-maintained.
It's hard not to give a tip of the hat to a completely original Datsun 120Y, one that bears the minor scars of its near-50-year life but remain in good condition.
Remember, these aren't traditional collector cars so for someone to have preserved a Subaru Leone, say is a testament to that owner's love for their otherwise deathly dull car.
I see them in my neighbourhood regularly, those cars that are still unremarkable in every way today, in every way but one. They have survived.
They have survived the ravages of time, and they have survived the scorn and ridicule they garnered when new.
There's a little blue Datsun 120Y sedan I see often in my local area. It's not in mint condition, but neither is it beaten up. The blue paintwork is in good condition, if a little faded in patches, while all the hub caps are firmly in place. The black vinyl roof isn't peeling away either.
It's a remarkable survivor, all the more so as it appears to be driven almost daily, chugging along merrily in its under-powered way and seemingly giving its owner much joy.
For me, this is a more interesting car than seeing a vintage Porsche 911. They are, after all, reasonably commonplace. But a Datsun 120Y – or the mint Ford KA Laser I also spy semi-regularly – well, they not only withstood the test of time, but have done so in the face of adversity of the mediocre.
Unexceptional cars then, elevated to cult survivor today. Bravo. Rob Margeit
So, what do you think? Are there any cars you see in your regular travels that once attracted scorn but by the very fact they are still on the road today are worth celebrating? Let us know in the comments below.
The post These are the most boring cars of all time appeared first on Drive.
